Friends??

Do you ever see people and wonder how they have friends, the way they talk about people behind their back and then turn around and be best friends with them the very next moment?  I have started seeing it all too often.  I see the ladies in my neighborhood and wonder if I am missing some quality that would make me "friend material" and then I look at who the people are and then think... are all people that way or is it just a few people?  I want friends, I want to have positive people in my life that like me for me, but at what cost?  At what point do you let your guard down and actually accept that people are the way that they are and that being friends with someone will include being talked bad about behind your back.  What has spawned this feeling is when I was walking from my car earlier I overheard someone talking crap about me like I have done something to them, I basically stick to myself in this neighborhood because I know that these people will take what they can get from you and then run all over you when they get the chance,  I guess the fact that I say that doesnt make me any better than the rest of the people out there, but I am just not sure what else to say to make me feel comfortable being a face in the midst of a thousand other anonymous faces.  I would like to stand out in a crowd, to be more than the "oh what's her name" would be amazing to me but either I have put up a wall or two too high for anyone to want to breach or... I am not as pleasant and charming as I think I am.  Until I became a military wife, I was so self assured as to who I am and what my place is in the world, when I moved clear across the US leaving my friends and family (except Steven) I seem to have lost my former glory, being burned by so called friends and that general feeling of why was I not invited?  why are these people saying "I miss hanging out with you but I wont call and make you a priority to actually hang out with"  I guess it is just my insecurities and I know I have a couple AMAZING friends (and you know who you are) I am very thankful for the few that I can count on to be there for me as they know I am there for them.  I guess life is funny that way, when you have something great it is either sell yourself to find more people unlike yourself to fit in with OR you stick with the hand full of people that you can truly be yourself around and pray to God they accept the true you.  Well, that's my thought for the evening.  Sorry about being a little morose, I guess I have been a little cut off from the world lately and needed a little vent.

OH by the way I didnt go over this and spell check or make sure everything I have to say is totally understandable so if you have questions then just ask :)  not really concerned at this moment with the whole being understood, I am just thinking tonight and wanting to go to bed.  NIGHTY NIGHT ALL!!

FOR MY LITTLE LADIES!!

For my Girls!!

 





"It's Amazing"

Do it now
You know who you are
You feel it in your heart
And you're burning and wishing

At first, wait, won't get it on a plate
You're gonna work for it harder and harder
And I know 'cause I've been there before
Knocking on the doors with rejection 
And you'll see 'cause if it's meant to be
Nothing can compare to deserving your dream

[Chorus:]
It's amazing, it's amazing all that you can do
It's amazing, it makes my heart sing
Now it's up to you

Patience, now, frustration's in the air
And people who don't care
Well it's gonna get you down
And you'll fall 
Yes you will hit a wall
But get back on your feet
And you'll be stronger and smarter

And I know 'cause I've been there before
Knockin' down the doors, won't take "No" for an answer
And you'll see 'cause if it's meant to be
Nothing can compare to deserving your dream






I wanted to share this song and video because I am learning how important it is to have a positive person there to make you realize your dreams.  I hate that I was told "can't" and actually listened when I was growing up.  I realize eventually someone with a crappy idea to destroy all that is amazing and wonderful about a child will eventually tell them "no you cant do that because... (usually some shortcomings of themselves)" I want my girls to never think that just because they are not in the top of their class that they are not smart.  I understand most people have their shortcomings and most people will let that jade the rest of their lives, but I have learned one thing... anything good is often worth fighting for.  I have been told that I cant for so long I almost forgot that most people are so dumb that they refuse to see the brilliance in people.  I Hope and pray that my girls will find friends that are positive influences, I hope and pray that they see that they are so brilliant that they light up every room that they enter and I know they make my life so much better by them being in it. 


I LOVE MY BELLA BEAN AND JOCIE POO!!!
 

Wonderful World of Blogging

As I have been told by a few people, I should be blogging and as this will always be a work in progress I guess it should get better with time so, until I get used to the idea of sharing my thoughts with the world I guess it will be silly of me to think that my blog will be the best thing in the world at first.  

I want to take this time to introduce my family.

Steven and I 

He is totally my other half... I cant honestly say I am not whole without him because I was whole before I met him but my life has become so much more colorful and full of more laughter and meaning with him.

Annabella (Bella) 

My oldest daughter, she is a three year old to the core.  She is brilliant and wants to know everything.  Bella is a Strawberry Shortcake addict (I am talking about the movies not the food)  

Jocelyn 

She is my Second daughter, she is also a very brilliant little lady with the need to do exactly what her big sister does but with her own little twist.  

Jocelyn is a Mickey Mouse Club House fan, while she lacks the enthusiasm of Bella with her TV show selection her day is not complete without at least watching it one time.  

It is amazing how different my two little ladies are, while they are both smart, funny, charming, and totally the most Beautiful little girls I have ever seen in my life.  

So... this is my little family