let it be someone else's problem.

"My attitude is based on how you treat me." was a quote on someone's FB page and I have to disagree sure to some extent the people around you determine how you treat those people but I have noticed more and more that if you treat everyone great no matter if they are being little "grumpy" towards you, in the end it will always be someone else's problem.   If someone I run into is less than curious to me and I turn around and be rude to them how is that making me any better than what they are doing?  what because they did it first you should retaliate.  that is almost as silly as saying "oh you cheated on me so I am going to cheat back."  However, if you look the rude person in the eye when they are being rude, give them a smile and tell them to have a great day, who knows maybe it will change their day.  Either way, it is not your problem it is their own problem and you are not at their level for being rude back.  I guess what I am trying to say is being a mature person sometimes means that you need to just accept everyone with a grin on your face and maybe just maybe you will make a difference in their lives enough to change someone else's life too.  


I am getting on rants lately because the more I get to remove myself from a situation the more I can look more objectively at the situations that should or should not be.  I cant promise that I will always make the best decisions when it comes to things that I was just ranting about a little but I will try.  OH a second example of the quote is people using people to get what they want... You just be a good friend and then if that person starts to take advantage of you do not get mad just realize you are being the better person by being the example of what a real friend is.  Maybe not help as much unless you know that it is really needed but every time the problem falls on the user not the used.  

Happy Memorial Day?

So I know I am a little late on the whole Memorial day thing (busy lives and two children will make anyone late for anything) On memorial day this year my husband was driving back to Ft. Jackson where he will finish training when there are a ton of people out there that will be spending memorial day taking flags to sites where their loved ones have been laid to rest due to being killed in action.  Now I am no person that is looking for a reason to say it's not going to be a "happy" day but really why do we say happy memorial day? is it because we are hoping that those few that are recognizing a loved one will be telling about all the happy memories while the other people enjoy their day off on a boat.  Before I was a military wife, I was happy that I just got the day off with paid vacation time.  I was happy that the weekend was filled with camping and misadventures.  Looking back I believe I was being selfish not sending a single thought to my brain about what the holiday really means.  Now that I have been married into the military for nearly 5 years now, I am noticing things like Veterans day, I remember to tell my husband thank you.  On memorial day I remember those people that I have known that have lost their lives knowing that it could have been me tending the grave of a loved one.  So I do not want to say happy memorial day, I don't want to say happy like it is Christmas or Easter (two holidays filled with joy) I spent the day saying "I hope you enjoy your Memorial day" I know it is more words but really? the memory of these men and women killed in action although their lives may have been filled with joy their loss is a deep sorrow, so I hope everyone enjoyed their memorial day... mine was spent cleaning the house and remembering my friends and my friends family members killed in action.

THANK YOU MEN AND WOMEN FOR YOUR SACRIFICE, AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE FOUGHT AND DIED IN THE SERVICE OF AMERICA I GENUINELY APPRECIATE YOUR SACRIFICE. You gave your life to give me the basic freedoms that others take for granted and that some lawyers are working so hard to take away.

the lady who sings and wrote this song is a wife of a marine killed in action, Check out her site: http://www.autumnusa.com/

fear of failure?

So I have come to the conclusion, I have a fear of failure that is keeping me from even trying.  I look at other people's lives and wonder if I had the nerves to try it where would I be?  would I be finished with school? Would I be making money instead of failing in school?  Why am I scared that I will fail without even trying.  Someone once said "if you dont try then you fail 100% of the time" What will it take for me to see that I need to finish school, I need to become a great example for my children and not give up when the going gets tough, I riddle my brain with things like this until I seem to just want to stop trying yet again instead of it giving me the motivation to say yes I can.  I get the feeling that I am smarter than I let myself believe but then sometimes not smart enough to keep up with assignments and dig my head into the sand that is facebook, tv or any other mundane thing that will keep my brain from accepting the brilliance of finishing a job or even starting.  If I were to have a new years resolution, it would have to be to FINISH what I start, not just start what I want to start but actually FINISH.  To not be scared of the outcome and just hammer those nails, whats the worst that could happen?? I finish it and it isnt exactly how I plan?  well, life is like that and sometimes you may end up with a slightly different plan but a finished product all the same.

Friends??

Do you ever see people and wonder how they have friends, the way they talk about people behind their back and then turn around and be best friends with them the very next moment?  I have started seeing it all too often.  I see the ladies in my neighborhood and wonder if I am missing some quality that would make me "friend material" and then I look at who the people are and then think... are all people that way or is it just a few people?  I want friends, I want to have positive people in my life that like me for me, but at what cost?  At what point do you let your guard down and actually accept that people are the way that they are and that being friends with someone will include being talked bad about behind your back.  What has spawned this feeling is when I was walking from my car earlier I overheard someone talking crap about me like I have done something to them, I basically stick to myself in this neighborhood because I know that these people will take what they can get from you and then run all over you when they get the chance,  I guess the fact that I say that doesnt make me any better than the rest of the people out there, but I am just not sure what else to say to make me feel comfortable being a face in the midst of a thousand other anonymous faces.  I would like to stand out in a crowd, to be more than the "oh what's her name" would be amazing to me but either I have put up a wall or two too high for anyone to want to breach or... I am not as pleasant and charming as I think I am.  Until I became a military wife, I was so self assured as to who I am and what my place is in the world, when I moved clear across the US leaving my friends and family (except Steven) I seem to have lost my former glory, being burned by so called friends and that general feeling of why was I not invited?  why are these people saying "I miss hanging out with you but I wont call and make you a priority to actually hang out with"  I guess it is just my insecurities and I know I have a couple AMAZING friends (and you know who you are) I am very thankful for the few that I can count on to be there for me as they know I am there for them.  I guess life is funny that way, when you have something great it is either sell yourself to find more people unlike yourself to fit in with OR you stick with the hand full of people that you can truly be yourself around and pray to God they accept the true you.  Well, that's my thought for the evening.  Sorry about being a little morose, I guess I have been a little cut off from the world lately and needed a little vent.

OH by the way I didnt go over this and spell check or make sure everything I have to say is totally understandable so if you have questions then just ask :)  not really concerned at this moment with the whole being understood, I am just thinking tonight and wanting to go to bed.  NIGHTY NIGHT ALL!!

FOR MY LITTLE LADIES!!

For my Girls!!

 





"It's Amazing"

Do it now
You know who you are
You feel it in your heart
And you're burning and wishing

At first, wait, won't get it on a plate
You're gonna work for it harder and harder
And I know 'cause I've been there before
Knocking on the doors with rejection 
And you'll see 'cause if it's meant to be
Nothing can compare to deserving your dream

[Chorus:]
It's amazing, it's amazing all that you can do
It's amazing, it makes my heart sing
Now it's up to you

Patience, now, frustration's in the air
And people who don't care
Well it's gonna get you down
And you'll fall 
Yes you will hit a wall
But get back on your feet
And you'll be stronger and smarter

And I know 'cause I've been there before
Knockin' down the doors, won't take "No" for an answer
And you'll see 'cause if it's meant to be
Nothing can compare to deserving your dream






I wanted to share this song and video because I am learning how important it is to have a positive person there to make you realize your dreams.  I hate that I was told "can't" and actually listened when I was growing up.  I realize eventually someone with a crappy idea to destroy all that is amazing and wonderful about a child will eventually tell them "no you cant do that because... (usually some shortcomings of themselves)" I want my girls to never think that just because they are not in the top of their class that they are not smart.  I understand most people have their shortcomings and most people will let that jade the rest of their lives, but I have learned one thing... anything good is often worth fighting for.  I have been told that I cant for so long I almost forgot that most people are so dumb that they refuse to see the brilliance in people.  I Hope and pray that my girls will find friends that are positive influences, I hope and pray that they see that they are so brilliant that they light up every room that they enter and I know they make my life so much better by them being in it. 


I LOVE MY BELLA BEAN AND JOCIE POO!!!
 

Wonderful World of Blogging

As I have been told by a few people, I should be blogging and as this will always be a work in progress I guess it should get better with time so, until I get used to the idea of sharing my thoughts with the world I guess it will be silly of me to think that my blog will be the best thing in the world at first.  

I want to take this time to introduce my family.

Steven and I 

He is totally my other half... I cant honestly say I am not whole without him because I was whole before I met him but my life has become so much more colorful and full of more laughter and meaning with him.

Annabella (Bella) 

My oldest daughter, she is a three year old to the core.  She is brilliant and wants to know everything.  Bella is a Strawberry Shortcake addict (I am talking about the movies not the food)  

Jocelyn 

She is my Second daughter, she is also a very brilliant little lady with the need to do exactly what her big sister does but with her own little twist.  

Jocelyn is a Mickey Mouse Club House fan, while she lacks the enthusiasm of Bella with her TV show selection her day is not complete without at least watching it one time.  

It is amazing how different my two little ladies are, while they are both smart, funny, charming, and totally the most Beautiful little girls I have ever seen in my life.  

So... this is my little family