Weight loss thoughts and Friend thoughts

So... I kind of gave up on the p90x for a couple of months.... first I got sick and then life happened and I just keep on finding new things and new excuses.  I know they are excuses and I know I should be better, I should be a go getter. I should just be up and at it right now even though it is after midnight and I have a little energy to spare.  ALTHOUGH I have lost weight, I have been watching what I eat I have TRIED to cut out as many drinks that isnt water as possible and have been more active with my little ladies.  So I guess I am not doing exactly what I set out to do and I am going to get back on it, I just wanted to express why I put a pause on it.  I was going to delete days 1 though 9 and then just totally redo it, but then I remembered I should show what speed bumps come up and then just restart while remembering what I am doing and why I am doing it.  I really need to come up with 90 days of reasons to get off the couch and do what I promised myself I would do.  Who knows, maybe I can start with the 90 days of reasons and turn it into a lifetime of reasons.

Part two of this is more of a venting session so if you are interested then go ahead and read on but if not... no harm done, I just need to think some things through and maybe someone can relate and/or give me advice.

Lately I have been thinking about the weight of some friendships on myself personally, I have been thinking about what the basis of a true friendship is and at what point to say no more... I have a friend whom I know will be there for me no matter what, but if I feel that friendship is fraught with questions of the persons motives and if they truly are my friend or just like to have me around because I encourage them... what is the basis of our friendship?  I know people become friends and stay great friends for a lifetime, and I feel as if I have a friend or two that I can honestly say you are my friend for life but at what point do you question the motives of the other person, do you ever wonder if they talk about you badly behind your back? Case in point... I had a recent disagreement with a friend and I asked her a personal question about what was going on and she shows someone else the text and they continue to talk about me like I am a monster for even questioning something the way I do because I am generally a concerned, caring person who knows about a ton of different stuff and try to help any way I can.  Well, the question was truthful and to find out that they talked about me like I was being heartless just asking a question makes me question what kind of friend that person is in the first place?  Do they just have me around to make themselves feel better?  Do they think about me in a positive way or negative way? Do they think my life is better or worse or even their own life is better or worse for having me in it?  I am confident in who I am and where I am, I know what I want from life, I know the type of friends I want to have and having the confidence and understanding to vocalize it is also important.  I am not one who can just call someone for a favor unless I have something else to talk about usually, I dont like calling for favors and I rarely ever use the fact that I am friends with someone as an excuse to pull strings to get what I want (I guess that accounts for why I still dont have a job).  For now, I will be praying for that right friend to come into my life... I have my absolute best friend, but I need some great girl friends in my life to uplift each others lives not weigh each other down, and jealous people need not apply, I have no time or space in my life for someone who thinks that just because I havent talked to them in a day or two that I am mad at them or starts stalking me... not an ideal situation because then I feel as if I should call every day out of obligation and not out of want to be active in your life.  Just like if you call, I will talk to you even if the conversation is lacking because I have a ton more on my mind that I cant vocalize... nothing personal just my way of working shit out.  Seriously... since I have been a military wife I have met some of the best people, but conversely some of the move unstable people of my life and for once I would like a little normalcy when it comes to the friends in my life, Part of me thinks the military attracts the crazy people and then the genuine people are just a little harder to find because the crazies are just so damn active.  OK so now for some serious thought and prayer on the topic of friends.  DEAR JESUS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me find a friend that is not crazy, quarky yes but crazy NO... someone who has a love for their husband, but doesnt lose their since of identity in their husband.  Who's husband will walk over hot coals in order to be with their wife and who will protect her and be her source of strength and not a source of bitterness. I know I have a few of these friends that are far away, and I know I will be able to be with those friends again some day soon but I would like a friend who is present in the here and now, not to replace those friends because no one could replace my handful of friends that have a heart like mine, but to embellish on the friendships I have now. Thank You GOD for everything and Thank you for having heard my prayer.

I started writing a whole different thing but deleted it because the tangent was too much for one blog post and well... I am not letting my ADHD control this blog (all the time) but I did want to share something that I wrote in there before I deleted it.
          "I wish I had a niche, where my words and thoughts just fit into one category and my brain would be accepted by the masses."
THOUGHTS?? I am always looking for input and

Day 9 P90X

So, I made up for my laziness over the last couple days. Not only did I Do day 8 and day 9 all in one day but I also walked a mile to and from my daughter's school pulling a wagon and I felt great.  Sure there were times I was thinking OUCH this sucks but honestly day 9 on P90X is worse, heck Day 8 was.  I am sunburned from yesterday when we went to the park (oops left that out) and all the extra burning of the energy I am feeling a little more drained lately BUT here goes nothing about explaining tonight's workout...  So I started doing my plyometrics workout and while I am uncoordinated as can be, I am trying to make it through these workouts without tripping on my two left feet.  It didnt help that Steven was making fun of me the whole time.  It didnt help that he and his friend were just sitting there making fun. I know they were kidding and I honestly dont care but I was laughing so much that I forgot the real reason I was getting made fun of in the first place... TO GET MY BUTT KICKED VIA DVD haha I feel like I have lost weight, I feel a little lighter on my feet but honestly I am nervous to look.  I have limited my sweets intake, I have limited most everything I drink to water or a little milk but VERY LIMITED.  I do feel so much better when I work out although my body feels like shutting down and saying screw it, we are on vacation and I dont want to be bothered by all this mess.  I wont give up on this dream of being healthy, I wont give up on my goal of being able to fit into my cute clothes again.  I can tell I have lost weight because I can find my hip bones without any real issue, I know I have lost weight because my clothes are fitting a little more loosely lately, and I can also tell I am losing weight because my brain is convinced of the fact that if I get off my ass I can and will have the body I have always dreamed of having.

Day 8 P90X

OOPS forgot there was a monday!! I didnt workout today because of the whole so busy my head was spinning thing but dont worry I made it up on Day 9.

Day 7 P90X

So day 7 was a day of rest, I was wanting to try the stretch X but it just didnt work out, so I took on a day of much needed rest.  It was really anything but restful but we will call it that because I didnt actually work out.  So I had a day to give my muscles some relaxation time and WOW did they ever.  They arent hurting and I have worked hard and sweated hard in order to make it all happen. Maybe I need to push myself harder but until this Saturday, I dont see myself getting much done other than projects and the minimum workout.  OOPS!  I guess I need to try harder to hurt more haha WAIT is there something wrong with me? YIKES!

Day 6 P90X

Wow Day 6 has been my most favorite work out yet! It is Kenpo X, there was a ton of kicking and punching, jumping and blocking.  I cant say that I was totally in my element because the punch jab kick combos are killer and I am not very coordinated BUT I seriously loved it.  I felt the burn AND had my heart rate going and I still have the energy to keep going but I have to get on with my plan for today.  Today I am going on a hot date with my Hubby.  6 days in I have more energy, and I do feel better than I have in forever.  In a few days I will post a picture looking at the changes I have made in a week.  Even if there isnt much change on the outside of my body the inside is soooo much better. Now just to seriousy watch what I eat... but HOW can i do that when so many DELICIOUS foods are bad for you?? haha See you on day 7!!  OH yeah the mioenergy water additive is delicious and it actually helps on those days you need the extra energy.  PLUS you can get a few energy drinks out of one bottle that costs less to maybe the same as one can of energy drinks.  Tomorrow is either stretch x or Yoga x... not sure what I will try tomorrow because i have a choice but I sure am going to love doing it.  Aside from listening to the P90X guy... he is slightly annoying BUT he is motivational so I will listen.

Day 5 P90X

As I stated in day 4 I didnt do my Yoga on day 4 so I did half of the Yoga work out on day 5 PLUS the whole work out on day 5. OUCH I may have almost over done it but I SURVIVED!! So I was also killing myself (during the work out) to burn off the brownies and cake I have eaten over the last couple of days.  The Brownies were my HUGE downfall, but they were delicious.  I replaced water for Cherry Juice and it added just a hint of delicious cherries... here is a little tip: make sure you have a ton of people there to share them with or you will eat the whole pan I know I almost did.  I know denying myself 100% of all things sweet would be horrible to do to myself because I want to be fit not grumpy haha. Getting back to topic at hand, the legs and back PULS ab ripper x was tough, pull ups of any type kick my butt, and then the leg workouts made me hurt at the moment but I barely feel it today so I must start working harder because as much as it sucks the pain the next day shows me that I am working hard.  OH yeah... I personally think resistance bands SUCK!! I have GOT to get some weights, OH yeah and remount the pull-up bar.

So the 1/2 Yoga session was HARD!!! seriously, I realize more and more I have zero balance.  I am guessing after time goes on I will be better at this whole thing.  Thanks to a friend letting me use her Yoga Mat, I can actually do the workouts but does anyone else have a problem with their hands getting sweaty making it hard to do all the poses on the ground? I know my hands get so slippery that I just had to put my towel on the mat so they dont slip haha

Day 4 P90X

Yeah so Day 4 was my 29th birthday, so seeing as I had my day full of appointments on top of the regular routine I totally missed my workout... unless you want to call going for my health assessment with them getting my heart rate up and all that stuff a workout but not quite how the p90x schedule wanted me to do it so... I did 1/2 the yoga workout on day 5 PLUS doing the day 5 work out.  So this will be a short blog because other than my BMI isnt as bad as I thought and to be within healthy range I only need to loose 6% and my heart rate is DOWN!! I believe my weight is down as well, but I didnt even look because I hate seeing what I weigh.  It actually is a slap in the face to stare at the scale especially when you think you are doing the right things... it was my prompt to do this, and the fact I will be 30 in less than a year and I dont want to start my 30's out in the body of my 20's... If at all possible I want to be better than my teens but for now lets reach for the goal of best I have ever been in my 20's.